Life imprisonment

I was sentenced to life imprisonment for killing triad society member(s) in revenge. This sounded like the end of my life because I would have to spend the rest of my life in prison. Even if I was to be released, it would be decades later. Furthermore, my family broke up and my life hopeless. However, after becoming a Christian I realized it was wrong to harbor such negative thoughts because knowing the Lord Jesus gave me hope.

Getting to know Christianity.

My first encounter with Christianity was about 10 years ago when a female German missionary from the Hong Kong Christian Kun Sun Association frequently preached the gospel in prison. At that time, she told me this, “Don't give up because of imprisonment. Be grateful every day for your life because it is by the grace of God that one can live.” Her words sounded incredible. I was then only 30 something and I took it for granted that I would continue to live. Why should I be grateful for being alive? At that time I blamed myself for lacking luck leading to my being in jail. So I did not bear the gospel in mind. I continued my life, pig-headed as usual. During that period, I was unhappy about the discipline in prison and had clashes with the staff. I also had fights with other inmates as a result of which disciplinary action was taken against me and I was locked up alone in a cell of the Special Team. This was not a big deal as I was already behind the bars, always unhappy and discontented anyway.

Unlocking the mental lock.

…….until 5 odd years ago Rev. Brander, a Swiss pastor who engaged in prison ministry frequently visited the Special Team. On each occasion, he politely asked me what offence I had committed for being locked up in the Special Team and what he could do for me. He said he would help me and listen to what was in my heart. I always turned him down very impolitely. At that time, I was impatient with him. I even said, “Neither Catholicism nor Christianity can help me because people like me are hopeless.” To my surprise, Rev. Brandner did not give up despite the fact that I declined his good intentioned offer. He continued to see me at each of his visits and encouraged me to face the future with a positive mind and not to be discouraged because of a single setback. Perseverance helps. After encounters for a year, I began talking to Rev. Brandner . However, I was still resistant to prayer and the gospel until an occasion when my mood was indescribably bad and my anger could not be released upon receiving a letter from my family, telling me that my father was admitted to a hospital for illness whereas my child had a fight with others and the school demanded to see the parents. The following day, Rev. Brandner came as usual. Probably Rev. Brandner saw the sadness on my face. He encouraged me to talk about my unhappiness. Somehow, I poured out all the unhappiness I experienced during the past one year. Rev. Brandner listened attentively and analyzed patiently all the rights and wrongs. He told me to pray on all the matters which got out of my hand and cast all my cares onto God. He led me to pray for my sick father and my child. I felt peace shortly after the prayer.

Mending relationship

That night I wrote a letter home. Ten odd days later, I received the first letter from my son, telling me why he had a fight with others and that my father's condition had improved. Though the letter was brief touching these 2 matters only, it was a treasure to me because it was the first letter from my son during the past 10 odd years of my imprisonment. Since then, we exchanged correspondence more often and my son visited me frequently. Thereafter, through Rev. Brandner's encouragement I joined a religious class. Because of the religious class and the influence of other Christians, I had a deep understanding of matters. I often read the Bible in prison and from it I learnt to love God, people and myself.

More profound experience.