The little “Big Brother”

I'm 37 years old, having grown up in public housing estate(s). At the age of 12 or 13, I started to associate with bad boys, learn smoking and gambling, kicking people around and picking quarrels. Believing that I was capable of being a big brother, I joined a triad society and started causing trouble everywhere in the hope that everyone would find me influential.

At the age of 15, I got involved in a court case because of the charges of assault and of being a triad society member. At that time, my parents believed that I was innocent and they spent all their money to hire a barrister to defend my case. On this occasion, I was very lucky to be acquitted. Unfortunately as my fame and flattery from fellow gangsters grew, I made more and more mistakes so much so that I could not break away. After some time, I was kept in custody pursuant to a court order for a charge of wounding others with a knife. Not only did I have no remorse at that time, but I considered myself having taken a big step towards being a “big brother”. On that occasion, I was not prosecuted because of insufficient evidence. In the years that followed, I was in and out of detention centres and courts where I learned taking heroine, ice and other soft drugs from friends there. After becoming a drug addict, I was often in and out of drug addiction treatment centres.

Since then, I muddled along as time drifted away. I lived in a world of fantasy every day with no courage to face the reality and the future. Relationship with my family deteriorated. When drugs took control, I tried by hook or crook to get money. Family members and friends stayed away from me.

Attending church

Later, my friend invited me to join church gatherings, hoping that faith might provide a way out for me. However, things improved for a short while only because all along I did not drop old thoughts and behaviour. I always believed that I could launch a big comeback one day. Church members gradually stayed away and lost trust in me. Being helpless and lonely, I got worse and obtained loans using false information. I formed a small syndicate of loan sharks. I hanged around mahjong premises every day, waiting for prospective borrowers. I constantly took heroine and soft drugs in order to desensitize myself. I went to Macau in the middle of the night, betting huge sums. Wherever I went, I was followed by a group of gangsters and there were always cash of several tens of thousand dollars and several credit cards in my wallet. I was in real confusion at that time. It seemed that no one could stop me from doing anything I wished.

Making trouble. Awakening. Experiencing God.

The situation remained unchanged until one day when my girl-friend could no longer tolerate me. She demanded me to live in a Christian drug rehab. centre and threatened to leave me if I did not. As I intended to live in the centre for 2 days or so and then leave, I reluctantly agreed. A day before going to the centre, the idea of seeing Mom popped up. So I returned home. However, under the influence of drugs I had a row with my elderly Dad. Out of rage, I rushed into the kitchen, picked up a chopper and chased after my Dad. Fortunately, a brother-in-the-Lord appeared in time and prevented bloodshed. I created a scene at the police station after being arrested.

After the court made an order of detention against me, I came to my senses. I realized that I had committed a big sin. Feeling very remorseful, I kept blaming myself. I hated myself very much. When recalling memories of the Lord Jesus (whom I got to know when I attended church in the past) , I asked myself, “Is he God? Is he almighty? Will he forgive me? Will he save me? If he is a really God, can he transform me?” I prayed in silence that I would serve and obey Jesus for the rest of my life if he could transform me and help me start afresh. Fourteen days later, I was transferred to another detention centre. Upon admission, I found heaps of small cockroaches, totaling about 100 to 200 on the walls and ceiling. I immediately told the staff about this. However, the whole floor was fully occupied with no vacant cell available for a transfer. In the circumstances, I had no choice but to spend the night in that cell and see what happened!

The night was really unforgettable and disgusting. Small cockroaches crawled over my body the whole night, sometimes near my nostrils and sometimes into my ears. I had a difficult time. As soon as I woke up the following morning, I applied for an immediate transfer. When we were told to return to the same cell that night, I started an argument with the staff. But in the end the outcome was the same- there was no vacant cell available.

With no choice, we could only face the reality in sadness and anger. In the cell I prayed to Jesus again, “Oh God! Now that I am in detention, why put me here with the cockroaches? I am going nut! I cannot stand this anymore! Can you deliver me?” I repeated the same prayer again and again. An hour later, the fecal pipe in the toilet of the cell suddenly burst with the result that the feces flushed out ceaselessly. The whole cell looked like hell and it was dreadful. This was also true of the adjacent cell. I realized I was in serious trouble. I thought we might have to keep standing the whole night. We began to lose patience and create a big fuss in the cell. Eventually, we were transferred to a special cell which was very tidy and clean, with not even a mosquito. After calming down, I was certain that Jesus had told me that He was the Almighty God who was to help me.

On the day of sentencing, the judge began by pointing out all my wrongdoings. This coupled with the judge's bad impression of me and my many criminal records made me think that the term of imprisonment would be at least 3 to 5 years. Surprisingly, the judge made a probation order on condition that I refrained from committing any further offence and spent a year in a Christian rehab. centre. The Heavenly Father had given me another chance.

Commencement of ministry

Thereafter I prayed and read the Bible every day. I tried my best to break bad habits and thoughts and in doing so, I encountered many hardships and temptations. The Holy Spirit helped and guided me all along and this coupled with the support and encouragement from my pastor and brothers and sisters-in-the-Lord, I started to grow gradually. After leaving the Christian rehab. centre, I worked in a social welfare organization, doing simple delivery jobs initially and setting up a team of decoration workers subsequently to help the unemployed and those with family problems so that they could regain confidence, learn about the truth of the gospel and live courageously.

Two years ago, I started praying incessantly that the Lord allowed me to serve Him forever. By coincidence, I had a chance recently to change job and to serve in the Hong Kong Christian Kun Sun Association. My main task was to spread the gospel to inmates and to do the caring. Praise the Lord for His guidance and blessing. When recalling my memories, I found that the transformation and work which the Lord had performed on me were really countless. Apart from giving me a good wife and many brothers and sisters-in-the-Lord, the Lord recently brought about reconciliation with my parents and siblings and took away the pain and bitterness which had built up among us over the years. I can now have meals and fun with my parents and siblings, something I never dreamed of. May all the glory go to our Heavenly Father.